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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

S.O.S. Mom: Real Moms Need Help

Help. Hey isn't that a 4-letter word? Help. Yes it is. Asking for help has never been something that I've been good at. I don't do it near enough and I don't allow others to ask. I guess the old saying of "Do unto others as you would want them to do to you" or something like that rings true here. I insist that friends and family call on me when they are in need of help, yet I do not pay them the same respect.

I'm not sure exactly why I stop short of asking for help until I'm out of my mind crazy. For instance, last summer Aaron began this internship that would take him away from home for 4 weeks. I was here with a newborn and pretty much no idea of people or their motives. I don't attach myself to people until I figure them out (HAHAHAHAHAH!) but either way I was going crazy with trying to figure out how I was going to do both mine and Aaron's jobs. I didn't have any family coming to visit during that time and I was new to the community.

I had an acquaintance offer some "help" as it were with watching my kids so I could have some time to get things done and caught up. It took several attempts from her for me to take her up on her offer. I finally gave in and took my children to her home for a couple hours. Wow that was the most helpful thing at the time! I was literally going crazy with all my to-dos and this person was sitting there slapping me in the face with a barbwire offer and I was refusing. WHAT!?!?!

The choice to give in and be vulnerable to one's offer of help is difficult. It opens you up to a whole new status in a relationship. Though now it seems minimal and absolutely silly that I would be so guarded to help, it was the best thing for my kids and me.

When asking for help, I expect that my family and friends will help and then in return ask for help. It's a circular event that is only positive in nature. Help's innocence builds character and friendship. Asking and receiving lead to giving and back to asking and receiving.

Being a mom is definitely not a one-mom game. I'm reminded of a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. But then I think it takes a child to build a mom. My children help (there's that word again) build my character, temperament, and life. I would NOT be the person I am today without my kids. They have taught me how to ask for help.

Asking for help doesn't have to be a chore. It is a risk though. It does open you up to a whole new array of opportunities. I guess in any choice we make, it will change the course of our lives. Something from the Disney show "Mulan" says something about a small pebble making a load of impact. Something as small as asking for help can make an immense amount of impact on someone. You never know when that someone you are asking for help simply may need that feeling of being needed at that moment. Perhaps a mom whose children are grown and in school is needing that nuzzle from a newborn or the excitement of a toddler. Simply asking her for help gives her that brief sense of being a young (yet knowledgeable) mother again.

Help .. a 4-letter word .. most definitely .. but the most powerful act we can do as moms.

More Real Mom Moments:

  • A real mom needs other real moms.
  • A real mom asks her kids to pray for her when she's having a bad day.
  • A real mom realizes that while she is given the privilege of raising her kids, she is also given a window to the opportunity of raising herself.

Peace be with you all!