Kara is the Twenty

As the aftermath is setting in for me about the happenings in Connecticut, China, Oregon, and the other places around the world and in the past that have suffered such horrific experiences, I am heartsick. No, that's not the word. I'm in shock, distraught, in the deepest feelings of despair.

As I easily pay my bills, have good health, a family that loves me, a home to sleep in, my children asleep in their beds upstairs, I realize that this could all be taken from me in one quick breath. A madman, a crazy person, someone who is lost from Jesus, a person that has no sense of morality could whisk this all away from me as if it were a dream state.

My heart aches for those parents in Connecticut that have to bury their children. My daughter, 7 years old, is the face of all those children taken too soon. In our human view. What would be going through my head if I were that mother? What would my heart feel? Would I feel anything? Would I feel too much?

My first grader lays peacefully and safely in her bed. And she is alive. Twenty aren't.
I will make my first grader cinnamon rolls with fruit salad for breakfast tomorrow. Twenty moms won't.
My first grader still has a future that is bright. Twenty do not.
My first grader will attend school tomorrow (even if in our home). Twenty won't.

My grief for these mothers that have to bury their children is encompassing. I can't even put it to words. As a parent, you learn what your parents feared. And only a parent can fear these demons that our world has possessed and created as a parent can. Our children are the future. When a child is taken prematurely, it sends unrecognizable shock waves through a time.

Twenty children will not date, celebrate their first kiss, graduate high school, vote for president, drive a car, get married, have children, and experience these fears that their parents fear.

Kara is the face of all those children. I can't look at their pictures because her face appears in their place.

I try to be religious about this situation. Spread the good news. But my heart is broken for these parents and families that will experience an immense amount of sorrow just days before we celebrate the birth of our King. I pray, that in their darkest moments of weakness, God shows them their worth and purpose in surviving such a travesty. I pray, we as a nation band together and demand a higher moral compass for our society.

To the families in Connecticut, and others around the world affected by such travesty, my deepest condolences.

Heart Break

I listened and my stomach churned;
the sound made my lips quiver.
My frame went limp, as if my bones were decaying,
and I shook as I tried to walk. 
I long for the day of distress
to come upon the people who attack us.   -Habukkuk 3:16

I am sure that many of us are feeling this way after the past week of the tragic shootings across the world. Whether you are impacted directly or indirectly, as most are, it sickens one to the very core of self. Unable to process or believe the events has they unfold. The facts that become available.

Today, in the innocent setting of an elementary school in Connecticut, innocence ceased to exist. Lives of children and adults were suddenly ended. Many other lives will forever bear the scarring impact of witnessing these events. The sound of gunshots in the halls will echo through the heads of children. These children, who had faith and trust in the safety of their school environment, have been tainted with fear.

When events like this transpire, I hear a lot of people place blame on God. "Where was he?" "Why didn't he prevent?" And at times in my life, I, too, have said those questions. But in understanding God's plan, we will understand our purpose. 

I'm trying to avoid getting preachy. Because this wound is still fresh and bleeding. But when thinking about the religious aspect in all this, I find it sad that God is the one people choose to blame, instead of Satan. Satan is the one that creates evil in us. Satan is the one that hones in our weakest moments and thoughts and convinces us that we are to make the sinful choices we make. If God was to prevent all sin, where is free choice? Where is enjoyment in believing, preaching and sharing the Gospel? If God forces us, then our faith is meaningless.

Our hearts are the most deceitful part of our body.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

The only cleansing refuge for a deceitful heart is Jesus. And even then, a constant repeat and exercise of having Jesus play a role in your heart is necessary to guard against the evil that can enter. 

We all want to see justice in situations like this. It's natural for humans to seek it, desire it, encourage it. Even if it isn't holy. We have to remember in all situations, God is ruler and final judge of all. The innocent lives of these children will not go unnoticed from our God. Let's not turn our backs on God at this time.

This is a time we should revive God in our communities, culture, country! This is a time we should band together in prayer and praise to God for our lives that he has spared to share his Gospel. There is purpose in every deed and act. And even the evil acts God will turn around into a blessing for anyone who wants to receive it. If you don't know the love of Christ, if you have questions on how to receive him, ask!!! Ask me, ask your neighbor, your pastor, your friend, your family member! Our world is turning into a bad bad place. We need Christ!

Alas!
The city once full of people
now sits all alone!
She who was once prominent among the nations
has become a widow!
The princess who once ruled over the provinces
has become a forced laborer!

She weeps bitterly at night;
tears stream down her cheeks.
There is no one to comfort her
among all her former lovers.
All her friends have dealt treacherously with her;
they have become her enemies.  - Lamentations 1: 1-2

Let's change our world together! One for Christ .. Christ for ALL! In peace and love. Humility and purpose! Don't let this moment to share the Good News go!