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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Taking Back the Family



This post is probably going to be one of my more polarizing ones, so consider this your warning.

I am a stay-at-home-mom. And this title didn't come easy to me. I have had a hard time accepting it, working with it, and identifying with it. I am a wife to a husband who works to provide for our family. He IS our bread winner. As it should be, in my opinion.


A few days ago, I was watching an episode of Katie and she was interviewing a pro-volleyball player turned wife/mom, Gabby Reece. She is very blunt in this book, claiming that she is a submissive wife who takes care of the home, children, and her man.


Why would something like that be soooo offensive to women? I realize that decades ago women fought for equal rights to vote, wear pants, drink socially, etc. I realize that women fight for pro-choice, still equal pay, and it seems more now than ever, the right to have children WITHOUT the presence of a father. I have many many problems with several of those statements.


But I will stick to only this one: the family.


The family in today's society has been redefined in the shadows of women's rights. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be able to wear pants, vote, have an occasional drink in a public environment. But let's not forget that men and women are different. And we are made that way for a reason.


Why is it so necessary to redefine the man? Or the woman? When did it become the norm to have families without one parent present (if that parent isn't a tube)? Disclaimer: I'm not against IVF or any of those sorts of fertility treatments.


My problem lies herein with the fact that more kids are having sex at a younger age; more kids are experimenting with drugs at a younger age; more kids are growing up to having babies when they are still babies themselves. And more boys and girls are very confused about their gender. Dads and Moms have important roles in the family. And kids need BOTH parents active in their life to grow. Now, that said, there are situations where dads and moms should not be involved because of their own lifestyle issues and/or abuse.


Today, I turned in my notice to my boss that I will not be working after May 31 anymore. I have felt compelled to be that submissive wife that Gabby talks about in her book, My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper. 


Women have been redefined as hard, callous, and having to be mean, bossy, and successful in the business world. And because careers are taking precedent over family life, and building families, women are also having children at an older age. Don't even get me started on those risk factors, not to mention how old they will be when their own grandchildren are born.


Look, I am here to claim my attempted mark as a submissive, soft, tender, and family driven wife ... or at least striving to be one. I find therapy in folding the 3rd load of laundry for the day. I find pride in my children's well-behaved smiles. I find joy in a happy husband who can come home from work and play with his kids. I find success in a clean, well at least tidy home. And I find career in paying the bills. 


I am here to stand up for the rights of the family institution. Not to place blame on any one party or group for destroying it. But to ask questions as to why we can't have this family dynamic back to the way it was originally designed? Why can't we have women home without being labeled incompetent? Or lazy? Or just living off the husbands? 


Damn straight I will live off my husband!!! He is a man. It is ingrained in his DNA to work hard, hunt, provide for his family. And I will not be the wife to damage that calling on him!


And also, I am not incompetent. I have a bachelors degree in PR/Journalism and a masters degree in Elementary Education. Just because I choose to raise my children instead of use my college education outside the home does not make me an idiot. In fact, it does the opposite! If something were to happen to my husband, I could work. 


In closing, I just want all women out there to take back their positions as wives and mothers! Be proud! Stand tall! Work or don't work, but only make that decision because it is what's best for YOU and YOUR family. Not because some government official says, or your neighbor, friend, or mom! 

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